Thank You Mum!

I'd like to share with you my most profound Taurean revelation of the month so far.

The last couple of days I've felt really good about myself and the world and really in a profound state of gratitude - and I'm it putting down to listening to the Taurus soundtrack that I've created for myself. I've been playing it over and over and a lot of the songs are ones that I wouldn't normally listen to. They are unashamedly happy and positive Taurean songs, and the thing is, many of them are my Taurean mother's favourites! More than that, even, they are songs which I grew up listening to as a child. My mother's mission in life is that she and everyone around her should be happy and positive. I grew up with this message - we listened to happy songs, watched happy films, and read happy stories. When I was young, my Mum would read me and my brother a happy story, or sing a happy lullaby, would kiss us goodnight, and say "see you in the happy morning" - every night, without fail. I don't think I've ever really appreciated what a gift that was. By the time I was a young teenager, I was rebelling against all of it. I was asking difficult questions of the world, focussing on all the things that were wrong with it, all the things that were wrong with me and all the things that were wrong with my mother! I was questioning everything, listening endlessly to The Smiths (such classics as "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now") and fighting endlessly with Mum and what I saw then as her overprotective control and anxiety, and her inane "sing-a-happy-song" approach.

When I discovered astrology at age 21, it all made perfect sense. She was a Taurus (a double-Taurus in fact)! I was an Aries - two sets of horns locked - one set focussed on trying to burn bridges and change things, the other set on preserving what she had, a propogandist of positivity resisting change at all cost! A battle that couldn't be won but both set on trying to prove the other wrong! But what if neither persepective is wrong? What if both - set appropriately within their own context - are "right"? I've been thinking a lot about this for the past two days and really getting in touch with how grateful I am for the exposure to all that happy, loving, supportive, positive, nurturing attention I received as a child, especially within this phase of Taurean enquiry. I have always tended to look back on it with a lot of criticism and say "oh, she tried to wrap us in cotton wool", "protect us from the world" - well maybe she did to a certain extent, but as I contact these memories now, as I listen to these songs, I just feel incredibly grateful. The Carpenters, Abba, Don Williams, Leo Sayer, Val Doonican, Julie Andrews, Showaddywaddy - (I mean how inane, and middle-of-the-road can you get?!!) - this the music we would play on the car as we drove off to my Grandpa's holiday house on the Norfolk coast, and we would all sing along, play I-Spy, and try and be the first to see the sea, across the flat Norfolk landscape. They were idyllic times - up to the age of 10 or 11, I remember. It was a real age of protected innocence and it's only in these last few days that I've really let myself get in touch with what a wonderful childhood that was. So thank you Mum!

It's her birthday on Sunday, and I've decided to drive up to Nottingham to surprise her, and as a birthday present, I'm going to present her with a Taurus soundtrack with all those inane, middle-of-the-world, yet wonderfully positive and innocent songs. It's a long way to drive up there just for the day, but I'm really excited about it and I'm going to share my revelation with her.

John x